I was browsing a sexx advice forum and someone had posted the question, “Do women like sucking the penis?” One guy answered, “No, once you are married for a few years, the act will disappear like it never existed.” I felt really sorry for the guy. No blowjobs at all? His sex life can’t be that good.

Later that same week I had lunch with a group of girlfriends and, like always, we started in on the girl talk. When we get together, it’s like an uncensored version of “The View.” We’ll rap about almost anything but sexx and men are of course our favorite topics.

I mentioned the poor guy who wasn’t getting blown by his wife. After some initial jokes, we settled into a serious conversation on the topic. One of my girlfriends cut to the heart of the matter and said, “Well, I bet the guy hasn’t mastered the fine art of going down on his woman.”

Wow. That provocative comment triggered a whole series of stories about men who expected to get blowjobs without reciprocating. I was surprised at the percentage of my girlfriends’ past lovers who were like that. Here are some of the choice words that were repeated often in reference to these guys: self-centered, lazy, and insensitive jerk.

The verdict was unanimous. If a man doesn’t voluntarily perform cunnilingus, all interest is lost on giving him sexx blowjobs. However, if a man spontaneously goes down on his woman, he can expect her to return the favor in a major way. If he’s really good at it, he can expect to enter blowjob heaven. Note, a woman doesn’t like to have to ask for her man to go down on her.

Then another phrase creeped into the conversation, “tongue with no talent.” Some men do reciprocate but they are just so bad at it their woman would really rather he didn’t. In fact, a couple of my girlfriends said they avoided giving head to some of their ex-boyfriends because they didn’t want to encourage them to reciprocate.

I asked why they didn’t just talk to their boyfriends about it and explain how they liked it. They said they were just too embarrassed to discuss the problem openly so they just avoided oral sex all together rather than deal with the issue.

So, here’s the moral to this story:

The top 3 secrets to getting more blowjobs are:

1. Perform cunnilingus on your woman more (and as frequently as possible).

2. Perform cunnilingus on your woman without her asking you to.

3. Learn how to give really great cunnilingus so you can enter blowjob heaven.